My top worst things that try to be sci-fi.

In the scope of fiction, the suspension of disbelief is what allows people to enjoy some things. We can believe anything in fiction, no matter how fantastical and magical they seem. However, it gets kind of annoying when they try to explain some things with science saying that these things could exist in a just and sane universe. This would be fine if not for the fact that they are some times explained either HORRIBLY or not at all. This short list is composed of what I believe some of the worst examples of things trying to seem scientifically plausible- EVER!

A) Pokemon: Before I talk about Pokemon, let me talk about its rival franchise Digimon. In the Digimon franchise there are creatures known as Digimon, beings made of discarded computer data that have miraculously gained corporeal form. Because they are from a universe where the laws of physics basically do not exist, it makes sense for Digimon to be able to grow metal arms or turn into puppets naturally, hell the original cartoon even made fun of how ludicrous the world was at times. Pokemon on the other hand, does not share this awareness of how ludicrous it is.

For those of you who never played the games the idea of Pokemon is capturing monsters and making them fight other Pokemon(insert overused cock-fighting joke here). And when they win enough battles and level up sometimes they evolve to a higher form. Really it should be called metamorphosis rather than evolution, but that's not what I'm complaining about. What bugs me is how they actually want us to believe that these transformations are created through natural evolution. This would make sense except for one particular Pokemon in mind:

Blastoise. They actually expect us to believe that this thing could actually exist through natural science based evolution. Yeah....nooooooooooooo. No, a 150 or more times no. This is a creature made from mad science, this is a creature that defies all logic, this is the result of man's hubris gone too far, THIS IS A DAMN TORTOISE WITH WATER CANNONS MADE FROM BONE CARTRIDGE! It makes even less sense looking at it's previous forms Wartortle:

And Squirtle:

From an evolutionary-point it makes sense for Squirtle to turn into Wortortle. It gets a bigger tail for aquatic movement and large ears to hear sub-sonic waves in the water. Blastoise is not a logical change, it instead goes the complete opposite direction by becoming heavier and not even close to as hydrodynamic as its previous forms. Not to mention the water cannons don't even make sense seeing as how it could-SHOOT STREAMS OF WATER FROM ITS DAMN MOUTH! Why grow cannons that shoot water when you could all-ready shoot water?

Pokemon, teaching kids the exact opposite of how metamorphosis works.

B.)Cybertronians from the Transformers: Now I am not saying that I can't believe in robots with the technology to take on different forms, of course not. My only problem with this is- THEY NEVER EXPLAINED IT! 28 years and the series has yet to come up with a hokey sci-fi reason for how the Transformers can even exist! For Satan's sake it should be easy, just a simple sentence and then I'd be fine! But no, because Hasbro forgets that science fiction includes SIENTIFIC EXPLANATION!

C.)Silver Age Kryptonians/Krypton from Superman: Now, the original Golden age Kryptonians make at least an iota of scientific sense. The planet Krypton had higher gravity than Earth forcing Kryptonians to evolve denser molecular structures in order to survive. This is generally believable. Silver Age Kryptonians however have evolved the ability to have numerous eye abilities from x-ray to heat beams, breathe ice cold breaths, fly, have a force field around themselves giving them super strength...under a different colored sun. WHAT?! How the hell does that make sense? The science they give us is that Krypton was incredibly radioactive so Kryptonians evolved with radioactive body structures and are only able to be super when under the right light frequency. Now this is almost believable until you realize that a red sun is colder than a normal sun. And yet Krypton seemed to have a similar bio-structure to that of a yellow-sun world. Logically, beings under a red sun would have evolved to be weaker than that of people under a yellow sun, and the radioactive environment would have caused them to be weak as well. But NOPE! They were able to live happy normal lives as well as looking like normal fully evolved hominids. This...makes...no...SENSE! But you could argue that they being a super advanced species due to the luck of the draw that is evolution, that they developed immunity to radiation. Well then explain Kryptonite! That thing is pretty much normal radiation which kryptonians should've evolved genetic barriers towards by now and yet every time it touches the man of steel he turns all green and weak. Logically since they have a radioactive physiology they would face more along the lines of chemical imbalance and would turn more crazy than weak. But they had to give the strongest race some form of weakness(no matter how stupid it is).

Feel free to dispute me on this one, but I still feel if these guys were beings of magic there abilities would make more sense than creatures that evolved like this naturally.

And my top most awful thing that trys to sci-fi:

D.) Jedis from Star Wars: This isn't even close to scientifically possible. They are basically space wizards, with magical light based swords with beams that stop in mid-air when they should logically keep going into the sky until said light would dissipate( I'd go more into it but that's another thing altogether). But we were able to believe it because it worked with the narrative as well as giving a nice spiritual feel. And then George Lucas fucked that all up by saying that the powers of a jedi are a scientific phenomena created by bacteria in your blood stream called midichlorians....no. There is no damn way this can be scientifically explained. We believed it was awesome space magic before, and then he ruined it by saying that it is a biological condition that some schmucks are able to get, and if you don't have it than sucks to be you. And what makes it even worse is they still try to say the force still exists and that the midichlorians merely help certain people connect to the force. Uh...NO! You can not go back to magic after you just scientifically explained it! It is either science or magic, pick one-WERE AT WAR! This is probably one of the biggest retcons to the franchise and is one of the most hated parts to the prequel saga. Keep in mind there are plenty others but still.

Well those are my top my most fantasy things shamefully trying to be sci-fi. Now some of you may think that I may be being too nit-picky but hey...its me. Until next time, hail satan, praise christ, but fuck bhuda cos that jerk owes me 50 bucks.